July 16, 2019: PERSONAL NOTES FROM THE ECLIPSE TUNNEL
Greetings at this FULL MOON Lunar Eclipse!
We have been in this current eclipse tunnel (portal) since the July 2nd New Moon Solar Eclipse. That is the day Dan and I arrived to our new home base in Montara, California (tiny, coastal town 30 mins south of San Francisco). Today, at 2:38pm Pacific time (4:38 Central) the astronomical moment of the 24 degrees Capricorn Lunar Eclipse is exact. However, the astrological potential of this event will continue to unfold in our lives over the next 6 months until the next eclipse duo happening Dec 25, 2019 at 4 degrees Capricorn and Jan 10, 2020 at 20 degrees Cancer. The Dec 2019/Jan 2020 eclipses continue to unfold Cancer/Capricorn themes, but aligned with expansive Jupiter, the Greater Benefic, which has a verrrry different energy than the current eclipse portal we’ve been in, which has been powerfully Saturnian and Plutonian in nature.
Saturn and Pluto together are karmic, deep, penetrating, unrelenting, serious and potentially very uncomfortable. And, their work within us and around us is in the service of instilling greater integrity, greater sense of responsibility for our lives/our choices/our earth/our communities, radical truthfulness (even if it is unnerving), awareness of the destructive tendencies within ourselves and certain structures of society and ultimately, Pluto/Saturn call for the next developmental leap in how we embody our power (empowerment vs. disempowerment/victim-
Now, to get personal:
Being a Cancer Sun/Aries Moon, and therefore Pluto and Saturn interacting very personally with my sense of self/identity/values (Sun) and my deepest heart/emotions/inner life (Moon), I have felt this eclipse portal in a profoundly intense and at times breathtaking way. For the first time in my life, I experienced a panic attack about a week ago. Amidst the incredible natural beauty of the California coast, which I thought would solve all of my deepest, existential woes, 🙂 I found myself filled with anxiety, doubt, fear and completely hyperventilating, sure I’d made a gross mistake in uprooting my life in MN and making this move.
Saturn and Pluto were in my face, up my nose and with a great sternness communicated to me:
“You chose to uproot and make this big move. Yes, you. You’ve pined for California for years. You wanted to be back here more than anything. Now, it is time for you to fully understand this longing and this choice, even if parts of the truth humble you to your knees (the parts that were most likely driving from the deep Plutonian sub/unconscious realm). Are you willing to have a DEEPER look at that? (If not, good luck.) It is time for you to come to terms with the first half of your life and become intimately aware of who you are now, at mid-life, 42…and what you most deeply value.
One of my dear astro soul sisters gifted me a horse rib bone the morning of my departure from Minneapolis. And, when she placed it in my hands, she said, “because you’ve still got some shadow work to do.”
Thank you for seeing me.
And, thank you Pluto/Saturn Eclipse Tunnel, I am now looking inward in a much more penetrating, relentless, honest way. Working on getting all my cards on the table.
Lastly, a moment for Jupiter, who awaits us in the next eclipse cycle.
In the frenzy of my panic, Dan was there (we were in the car, parked by one of our favorite ocean-gazing spots).
Dan has Jupiter conjunct his Gemini Sun. You could think of this fusion as the Expansive Optimist and Resilient Visionary as central to his core being (Sun). In those panicked moments, his voice and breath-bringing perspective joined with the intensity of Pluto/Saturn and asked:
“Could it be that a deeper personal empowerment wants to happen through this big move? Could it be that you are fearing your own expansion? What if you’re in a birth canal right now? How much do you want this Life? Can you summon up trust and faith in yourself, in the cycles of Life, in that which is yet to be born?”
The questions continue to unfold from inside and out…answers emerging in their own time from the depths. Carving out space for silence, reflection, rest and nourishment is proving deeply beneficial to the intensity of these days. I’ve been marinating in this 432 Hz recording, “Birth” by Alexandros Sidiropoulos. It deeply emits oceanic source, nourishment, soothing of frayed nerves, Cancerian North Node frequencies.
In the week since the panic struck, these Leonard Cohen lines have been visiting me often:
“Dance me through the panic till I’m gathered safely in…”
Sometimes another human being is absolutely needed to help us reconnect, regulate and re-ground in bigger perspective. Mother Nature is a powerful healer, regenerator, life-giver and sustainer…I stand in awe and feel Her as Source for me in many ways…but human beings are LOVE. And, LOVE is why we’re here, right?
“Lift me like an olive branch and be my homeward dove
Dance me to the end of love”
Dance me to the end of love”
May we be this for each other.
I welcome your personal notes on this eclipse time, if you wish to share.
We are all in this together.
With love, warmth and tenderness under the partial Full Moon light,